I just hit my twenties as of the 9th of July, and it has surprised me how grown up I feel. For the first time in my life I have an "adult" job working for Macy's where you have to dress business casual and think like a grown up. I started making lists....me- making LISTS! I never thought it possible....neither did my mother I think :p But I have. I have made my first budget- even thoough it will need to be fixed and acclimated to the new jobs. I have thought and pondered hard and deep about moving out and in with my best friend. I have written down all that we need, and everything that will be mine and everything that will be ours. It is a liberating experience, so satisfactory. I never imagined that being a grown up would be like this. Because we all know what it is like to be a child and think about growing up. In all honesty, it is nothing compared to being thrown into the real world-- and to be honest I haven't even fully emerged into everything the adult world has to offer. For the first time in my life I feel, not yet fulfilled, but intrigued and ready to step foot into the unknown. I have the faith and mercy of a wonderful God whom is watching over me. I have parents, especially a mother who so dearly wants me to fulfill my dreams and the Will of the Almighty God we serve. I am trying my best to be steadfast and do things right for once. I have real, strong, and gracious adult friends who are close for the first time and I feel like they truly know me as myself. I have stepped out of my shell and out into the open, vulnerable. There are a lot of firsts for me these days. I have decided that I am trying my hardest to focus on my life and the things I need to get situated for the year ahead. I don't want to bulldoze my way out and fall flat on my face because I have overlooked important details. I want to cross every "T" and dot every "I" before I become fully independent. This is the time to make the wisest decisions and choices because everything counts now. I have realized that being impulsive doesn't get me what I want because of my impatience- and by this I am talking about relationships. Boys....there is a time when God will bring the right man into my life. The very man that He has designed specifically for me. The very man I am going to marry, I have finally decided, and from learning from my past mistakes, that going against my Maker just leads to heartache, because the only one who can give me what I am seeking is God. It will be in His timing and not mine. For the first time I have come to realize this. It has taken a few years to sink in and fully absorb, but not all is lost. I am no longer discouraged. I am enjoying the freedom and singleness. And I NEVER EVER thought I would be saying this. But here I am. Ready and rearing to seek God's Word and live by His rules and Will. And no longer my own. This will get me where God wants me to go. This will lead me to peace and for the first time in my life, I will be successful in all things. How great is our God? He is amazing. Trust in Him and you can do anything. Amen.
